Secret Santa
by Lamby
Summary: Cowritten with Corrinth. A Christmasy Enterprise Story that's short and sweet.
1. Secret Santa

Secret Santa  
  
Disclaimer: - We do not own any of the characters and are not making any money from this whatsoever. Unless anyone out there wants to pay us..?  
  
A/N: - First of all, there's two of us, Lambi and Corrinth. This is a bit of a joint effort, a little wacky we know, but hopefully it will get you in the mood for Christmas. Rating is for implications.  
  
Chapter 1: - Secret Santa  
  
Hoshi looked upwards and groaned. "It's just so big... I can't manage it."  
  
Trip gave a lazy smile. "Well, maybe if you stood on your tip-toes..."  
  
"Here, I'll do it." Travis offered, taking the star out of her hands and placing it atop the tree. Hoshi stood back, examining their work with a critical eye. She glanced at the chief engineer, who was sat across the table in the Captain's mess.  
  
"Are you just going to sit there and drink, or are you actually going to help us?"  
  
Trip sank further down into his chair, and crossed his feet on the table. He exaggerated a sigh, and grinned at the comm. officer. Hoshi shook her head in feigned despair.  
  
Travis draped the last piece of tinsel on the tree and looked perplexed. "So are we supposed to get everybody a present? Even Subcommander T'Pol?"  
  
Trip shrugged, taking another slug of bourbon. Hoshi went to rearrange Travis' tinsel.  
  
"How about a 'Secret Santa'?" She asked.  
  
"A what?" The two men asked in unison.  
  
"A 'Secret Santa'. You know. Everyone puts his or her name into a hat, then we take turns to pull a name out again, and that's who you get a present for. That way everyone gets a present. But you don't know who your present is from."  
  
"What happens if you pull your own name out?" Questioned Travis.  
  
"You'll be sure to get what yer want!" Chuckled Trip.  
  
Hoshi rolled her eyes at Trip; "You put it back and try again of course."  
  
"Hum, I wonder who'd wanna get involved?" Travis pondered...  
  
  
  
A/N: - Sorry for all the bad jokes, but they made us laugh. : ) 


	2. Out of the Hat

Disclaimer: We own none of the Star Trek universe, and wish many thanks upon those that are involved with its creation and running.  
  
A/N: Is there paper in the 2150's? We don't know, so if this is wrong.. tough!  
  
  
  
Chapter Two: Out of the Hat  
  
  
  
There was a sombre silence in the Captain's ready room. Trip had managed to rope in Captain Archer and Lieutenant Reed, Travis had persuaded Doctor Phlox, and Hoshi had even managed to get T'Pol vaguely interested. After repeated explanations of what exactly a 'Secret Santa' was, everyone had gathered to put their names into a hat.  
  
In silence, Archer held out a regulation, Starfleet issue cap, upside down. Inside was a single data chip. Without saying anything, Hoshi dropped her own data chip into the cap.  
  
"Now, y'all know what I want for Christmas right?" Trip asked, hesitating before putting his data chip in.  
  
"A warp eight engine?" Travis asked. "In which case, I want one too!"  
  
Everyone chuckled dutifully as they dropped their data chips in to join the rest. Archer jiggled the cap and contents about. Everyone waited. It all seemed so serious, and yet it was supposed to be a bit of fun. Yet everyone was dreading having to get T'Pol a present, except for the Vulcan herself.  
  
"Who picks first then?" Reed asked, speaking for the first time since greeting everyone.  
  
"Ladies first." Archer proffered the cap to T'Pol. She glanced into the cap with one eyebrow raised in typical Vulcan scepticism. However, she plucked out a data chip and moved round the desk to the computer. She put the data chip into its slot and activated the monitor.  
  
"I have..."  
  
"NO!" The humans protested in unison, before Hoshi added, "You're not supposed to tell us who it is, remember?"  
  
"Indeed."  
  
~~***~~***~~~***~~~***~~~  
  
Chatter had broken out once everyone had found out who they were getting a present for. Travis and Trip were arguing about how to wrap up a warp eight engine. Hoshi was explaining to Doctor Phlox the principle of Christmas.. for about the eighth time. Reed was somewhat quieter than the rest, and his cheeks had gone a fierce shade of red.  
  
"Captain." T'Pol turned to Archer.  
  
"What is it?" Archer asked, wondering how on Earth you would ever find enough wrapping paper to wrap up a warp engine. Paper was scarce enough on Earth these days as it was.  
  
"What makes an appropriate Christmas gift?"  
  
"It depends on who you're buying for."  
  
"Ah. Generally speaking then. A friend."  
  
Archer paused to think. He obviously wasn't going to be able to dupe her into telling him who she had pulled out of the cap. He answered as best he could. "I don't know. Chocolates, a piece of jewellery.. a potted plant.." He shrugged.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"We have a saying on Earth." Archer tried to be more helpful. "It's the thought that counts."  
  
~~***~~***~~~***~~~***~~~  
  
Later that evening, Archer and Trip were sat drinking bourbon together in the Captain's mess and watching a game of water polo. Suddenly there was a bleep at the door. The door slid open at Archer's command, revealing a somewhat flustered Lieutenant Reed.  
  
"Malcolm!" Archer greeted him. "What can we do for you?"  
  
"I was wondering.. is it against the rules to swap data chips?"  
  
Trip and Archer glanced at each other, a smile creeping onto the chief engineer's face.  
  
"You got T'Pol, dincha?"  
  
Reed nodded miserably.  
  
"Well, somebody had to I guess." Pondered Archer "But then, I suppose getting a Christmas present for a Vulcan might be tricky.."  
  
"Oh I don't think Malcolm's without ideas, Jon." Trip was grinning.  
  
"Just kind of short of.. 'appropriate' ideas." Reed confessed, staring down at the deck plating and blushing furiously. The image of T'Pol unwrapping something small, black and lacy just wouldn't get out of his head. He looked up again hopefully. "Can I persuade either of you gentlemen to swap?"  
  
"Not me." Trip refused quickly. "I got mine sussed."  
  
"Alright." Archer stood and fished his data chip out of his pocket. When Trip and Reed stared at him in amazement, he shrugged. "You gotta think of these things as a challenge."  
  
Malcolm had never looked, or felt, so relieved in his entire life.  
  
  
  
A/N: So. Archer's getting a pressie for T'Pol. Trip's being secretive. But just what do you get a Vulcan for Christmas? You'll just have to wait and find out! 


	3. Christmas Day

Disclaimer: We own none of this.  
  
A/N: Time to find out what you get a Vulcan for Christmas... Should you ever need to know....  
  
Chapter Three: Christmas Day  
  
  
  
Trip pushed back his chair and sighed in contentment. That third portion of Christmas pudding had gone down well. He closed his eyes momentarily, listening to the lazy conversations of the others at the table.  
  
"Not falling asleep I hope?" Lieutenant Reed asked.  
  
"Naw, just savouring the moment." Trip opened a sleepy eye, sat up straight again and forced the other eye open. He saw that everyone else had finished too. Travis was glancing at the wrapped presents beneath the tree periodically, looking like a hopeful child.  
  
"So is it time to open the presents then?" Trip looked over at the Captain expectantly.  
  
"You want to pass them out?" Replied Archer. "You're nearest." The Captain didn't feel up to moving just yet, he really shouldn't have tried to keep pace with Trip in what had turned out to be a 'who can eat the most pudding' competition.  
  
Trip groaned as he stood, hoping his uniform wouldn't split. He doled out the presents, carefully checking the label on each one before handing them out. The eagerness on Travis' face made almost everyone smile. T'Pol looked as cynical as ever.  
  
"You first Captain." Hoshi announced politely. Everyone looked towards Archer in anticipation. Archer looked down on his package, an odd shaped parcel with blue wrapping paper. He grinned and peeled it open. It was a pooper-scooper, and it could only have come from one person.  
  
"If that damn dog gets into my engine room once more.." Trip grinned. Everyone looked slightly bewildered. "Happy Christmas Jon." From somewhere, he produced a bottle of bourbon. Archer laughed heartily, and more or less everyone joined in.  
  
"Go on then Hoshi. It was your idea. You next." Archer smiled at his communications officer.  
  
Her parcel was a small, cuboid shaped one, wrapped in dark purple paper. She opened it to reveal a box. Inside was a silver charm bracelet, with a tiny star attached. She didn't know where to look as she said "Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome." Malcolm replied, and then clapped his hand over his mouth. "Oops. Wasn't supposed to say that."  
  
"Thank you." Hoshi repeated, looking straight at her friend this time and smiling coyly. She fastened the bracelet around her wrist and admired it. It really was pretty.  
  
"I suggest ladies first again then perhaps?" Dr Phlox looked at T'Pol, "Well?"  
  
Dubiously, T'Pol slid a fingernail underneath the wrapping paper on her present and started to pry it open. Reed and Trip both glanced conspicuously at Archer who avoided their gazes deliberately. Once more a small box was revealed. T'Pol opened it carefully, and almost looked surprised. Delicately she picked up the contents, holding the present up so everyone could see it. It was a silver chain, bearing a silver oval locket. As it span in the subdued light of the room, a small diamond glinted from its centre. Hoshi was sure T'Pol looked almost touched.  
  
"What is it?" The eyebrow was raised questioningly.  
  
Hoshi, sitting next to T'Pol, leaned over and released the clasp to open the locket. "It's a locket, you can keep something important or precious inside it. Usually it's a photograph of somebody close to you."  
  
"A delightful gift, don't you think so Subcommander?" Inquired Dr Phlox.  
  
"It is.. thoughtful." Replied T'Pol. "Thank you." She looked straight at Archer.  
  
Trip chuckled to himself; there was no foolin' the Vulcan. "Maybe we better let Travis go next, the guy looks like he's gonna burst!"  
  
Everyone looked at Travis, who had already got stuck in to the unwrapping of his gift. In two seconds flat they were dazzled by a bright flash, as a small round bauble rolled onto the table. The light then dimmed to a point in the glass sphere's centre as it stopped moving.  
  
"Oh." Said Travis, "A paperweight." He sounded quite disappointed, but when he picked it up, the light inside it began to grow again. Intrigued, he shook it carefully. The light got brighter, sending out orange tendrils at random.  
  
"Actually it's a star-glass. It reacts to movement by lighting up. It can get quite bright if you shake it too much, Ensign." Dr Phlox looked around smugly at the captivated looks on his comrades' faces. "But you may use it as a paperweight if you wish."  
  
"Gee thanks Doc." Travis shook the bauble again, blinding everyone.  
  
"Malcolm, do you want to go next?" Asked Archer when the sunspots had faded and he could see again.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
The package was squishy and not particularly well wrapped. It fell open more than it was unwrapped by Reed, exposing a pair of particularly nasty novelty boxer shorts. They were black, but covered with garish yellow stars. Malcolm went an equally garish shade of red and glared at Trip accusingly.  
  
"I know its not you, but you must have had a hand in it!"  
  
Trip grinned impishly "Keep your shirt on Lieutenant! I didn't know he was gonna take me seriously!"  
  
"I couldn't think of anything else!" Travis owned up, looking almost as embarrassed as Reed.  
  
"Say thank you Malcolm." Hoshi prompted.  
  
"Thank you. I think." It wouldn't have been so bad if T'Pol hadn't been there. The Vulcan was observing the proceedings with no idea how close she had come to receiving an equally embarrassing package.  
  
Archer looked between the Doctor and Trip, the only two still with wrapped presents. "Any volunteers?"  
  
"After you Doc." Replied Trip courteously.  
  
"Thank you Commander." Phlox tucked into opening the gift with unforeseen relish. He was very much enjoying this insight into human culture. The red paper was ripped away to show an ordinary looking data pad. He switched it on, and read out the title. "An encyclopaedia of Earth's faunal species. How thoughtful." He proceeded to press buttons and ignore everybody; he was so fascinated with the gift.  
  
Trip took this as a cue to begin opening his own present. It was a large, square-ish box wrapped in black metallic paper. He removed the paper, took off the lid, reached in and shouted "Ouch!"  
  
"What? Something bite you?" Malcolm was still sore about the underwear.  
  
"Actually, yeah." Trip tried again to extract his gift, this time looking what he was doing. It was a small cactus in a terracotta pot. The humans looked confused.  
  
"It was the Captain's idea." T'Pol spoke up.  
  
"It was?" Archer didn't remember.  
  
"Yes. You suggested a potted plant, and I believe this plant is native to Commander Tucker's home."  
  
"It sure is." Trip grinned, he was quite touched. The Vulcan had obviously thought about this a lot.  
  
"And if it can survive in the desert, chances are it will be okay in your quarters Trip." Hoshi teased him.  
  
Trip grinned again, placing the small pot on the table and sucking on his prickled finger like a five year old.  
  
Archer stood, glass in hand. "May I propose a toast?"  
  
Everyone reached for their glasses and stood to join their captain. Even the Doctor managed to put his pad down for five minutes.  
  
"To a happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year!"  
  
  
  
A/N: Thank you for your reviews, we wish you all a merry Christmas and hope to have more stories up in the New Year... : ) 


End file.
